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Vol. 3, No. 1

In Cuba I Was a German Shepherd
by Ana Menendez

The park where the four men gathered was small. Before the city put it on the tourist maps, it was just a fenced rectangle of space that people missed on the way to their office jobs. The men came each morning to sit under the shifting shade of a banyan tree, and sometimes the way the wind moved through the leaves reminded them of home.
      One man carried a box of plastic dominoes. His name was Máximo, and because he was a small man, his grandiose name had inspired much amusement all his life. He liked to say that over the years he'd learned a thing or two about the "physics of laughter," and his friends took that to mean good humor could make a big man out of anyone. Now, Máximo waited for the others to sit before turning the dominoes out on the table. Judging the men to be in good spirits, he cleared his throat and began to tell the joke he had prepared for the day.
      "So Bill Clinton dies in office and they freeze his body."
      Antonio leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh. "Here we go."
      Máximo caught a roll of the eyes and almost grew annoyed. But he smiled. "It gets better."
      He scraped the dominoes in two wide circles across the table, then continued.
      "Okay, so they freeze his body and when we get the technology to unfreeze him, he wakes up in the year 2105."
      "Two thousand one hundred and five, eh?"
      "Very good," Máximo said. "Anyway, he's curious about what's happened to the world all this time, so he goes up to a Jewish fellow and he asks, 'So, how are things in the Middle East?' The guy replies, 'Oh wonderful, wonderful, everything is like heaven. Everybody gets along now.' This makes Clinton smile, right?"
      The men stopped their shuffling and dragged their pieces across the table and waited for Máximo to finish.
      "Next he goes up to an Irishman and he asks,'So how are things over there in Northern Ireland now?' The guy says, 'Northern? It's one Ireland now and we all live in peace.' Clinton is extremely pleased at this point, right? So he does that biting thing with his lip."
      Máximo stopped to demonstrate, and Raúl and Carlos slapped their hands on the domino table and laughed. Máximo paused. Even Antonio had to smile. Máximo loved this moment when the men were warming to the joke and he still kept the punch line close to himself like a secret.
      "So, okay," Máximo continued, "Clinton goes up to a Cuban fellow and says, 'Compadre, how are things in Cuba these days?' The guy looks at Clinton and he says to the president, 'Let me tell you, my friend, I can feel it in my bones, any day now Castro's gonna fall.'"
      Máximo tucked his head into his neck and smiled. Carlos slapped him on the back and laughed.
      "That's a good one, sure is," he said. "I like that one."
      "Funny," Antonio said, nodding as he set up his pieces.
      "Yes, funny," Raúl said. After chuckling for another moment, he added, "But old."
      "What do you mean old?" Antonio said, then he turned to Carlos. "What are you looking at?"
      Carlos stopped laughing.
      "It's not old," Máximo said. "I just made it up."
      "I'm telling you, professor, it's an old one," Raúl said. "I heard it when Reagan was president."
      Máximo looked at Raúl, but didn't say anything. He pulled the double nine from his row and laid it in the middle of the table, but the thud he intended was lost in the horns and curses of morning traffic on Eighth Street.

 

~

Raúl and Máximo had lived on the same El Vedado street in Havana for fifteen years before the revolution. Raúl had been a government accountant and Máximo a professor at the university, two blocks from his home on L Street. They weren't close friends, but friendly still, in that way of people who come from the same place and think they already know the important things about one another.
      Máximo was one of the first to leave L Street, boarding a plane for Miami on the eve of January 1, 1960, exactly one year after Batista had done the same. For reasons he told himself he could no longer remember, he said good-bye to no one. He was forty-two years old then, already balding, with a wife and two young daughters whose names he tended to confuse. He left behind the row house of long shiny windows, the piano, the mahogany furniture, and the pension he thought he'd return to in two years time. Three, if things were as serious as they said.
      In Miami, Máximo tried driving a taxi, but the streets were still a web of foreign names and winding curves that could one day lead to glitter and another to the hollow end of a pistol. His Spanish and his Havana University credentials meant nothing here. And he was too old to cut sugarcane with the younger men who began arriving in the spring of 1961. But the men gave Máximo an idea, and after teary nights of promises, he convinced his wife--she of stately homes and multiple cooks--to make lunch to sell to those sugar men who waited, squatting on their heels in the dark, for the bus to Belle Glade every morning. They worked side by side, Máximo and Rosa. And at the end of every day, their hands stained orange from the lard and the cheap meat, their knuckles red and tender where the hot water and the knife blade had worked their business, Máximo and Rosa would sit down to whatever remained of the day's cooking, and they would chew slowly, the day unraveling, their hunger ebbing with the light.
      They worked together for seven years like that, and when the Cubans began disappearing from the bus line, Máximo and Rosa moved their lunch packets indoors and opened their little restaurant right on Eighth Street. There, a generation of former professors served black beans and rice to the nostalgic. When Raúl showed up in Miami in the summer of 1971 looking for work, Máximo added one more waiter's spot for his old acquaintance from L Street. Each night, after the customers had gone, Máximo and Rosa and Raúl and Havana's old lawyers and bankers and dreamers would sit around the biggest table and eat and talk, and sometimes, late in the night after several glasses of wine, someone would start the stories that began with "In Cuba I remember . . ." They were stories of old lovers, beautiful and round-hipped. Of skies that stretched on clear and blue to the Cuban hills. Of green landscapes that clung to the red clay of Güines, roots dug in like fingernails in a good-bye. In Cuba, the stories always began, life was good and pure. But something always happened to them in the end, something withering, malignant. Máximo never understood it. The stories that opened in the sun, always narrowed into a dark place. And after those nights, his head throbbing, Máximo would turn and turn in his sleep and awake unable to remember his dreams.
      Even now, ten years after selling the place, Máximo couldn't walk by it in the early morning when it was still clean and empty. He'd tried it once. He'd stood and stared into the restaurant and had become lost and dizzy in his own reflection in the glass, the neat row of chairs, the tombstone lunch board behind them.

 

~

"Okay. A bunch of rafters are on the beach getting ready to sail off to Miami."
      "Where are they?"
      "Who cares? Wherever. Cuba's got a thousand miles of coastline. Use your imagination."
      "Let the professor tell his thing, for god's sake."
      "Thank you." Máximo cleared his throat and shuffled the dominoes. "So anyway, a bunch of rafters are gathered there on the sand. And they're all crying and hugging their wives and all the rafts are bobbing on the water and suddenly someone in the group yells, 'Hey! Look who goes there!' And it's Fidel in swimming trunks, carrying a raft on his back."
      Carlos interrupted to let out a yelping laugh. "I like that, I like it, sure do."
      "You like it, eh?" said Antonio. "Why don't you let the Cuban finish it."
      Máximo slid the pieces to himself in twos and continued. "So one of the guys on the sand says to Fidel, 'Compatriota, what are you doing here? What's with the raft?' And Fidel sits on his raft and pushes off the shore and says, 'I'm sick of this place, too. I'm going to Miami.' So the other guys look at each other and say, 'Coño, compadre, if you're leaving, then there's no
      reason for us to go. Here, take my raft too, get the fuck out of here.'"
      Raúl let a shaking laugh rise from his belly and saluted Máximo with a domino piece.
      "A good one, my friend."
      Carlos laughed long and loud. Antonio laughed, too, but he was careful to not laugh too hard, and he gave his friend a sharp look over the racket he was causing. He and Carlos were Dominican, not Cuban, and they ate their same foods and played their same games, but Antonio knew they still didn't understand all the layers of hurt in the Cubans' jokes.

 

~

It had been Raúl's idea to go down to Domino Park that first time. Máximo protested. He had seen the rows of tourists pressed up against the fence, gawking at the colorful old guys playing dominoes.
      "I'm not going to be the sad spectacle in someone's vacation slide show," he'd said.
      But Raúl was already dressed up in a pale blue guayabera, saying how it was a beautiful day and to smell the air.
      "Let them take pictures," Raúl said. "What the hell. Make us immortal."
      "Immortal," Máximo said with a sneer. And then to himself, The gods' punishment.
      It was that year after Rosa died, and Máximo didn't want to tell how he'd begun to see her at the kitchen table as she'd been at twenty-five. Watched one thick strand of her dark hair stuck to her morning face. He saw her at thirty, bending down to wipe the chocolate off the cheeks of their two small daughters. And his eyes moved from Rosa to his small daughters. He had something he needed to tell them. He saw them grown up, at the funeral, crying together. He watched Rosa rise and do the sign of the cross. He knew he was caught inside a nightmare, but he couldn't stop. He would emerge slowly, creaking out of the shower and there she'd be, Rosa, like before, her breasts round and pink from the hot water, calling back through the years. Some mornings he would awake and smell peanuts roasting and hear the faint call of the manicero pleading for someone to relieve his burden of white paper cones. Or it would be thundering, the long hard thunder of Miami that was so much like the thunder of home that each rumble shattered the morning of his other life. He would awake, caught fast in the damp sheets, and feel himself falling backwards.
      He took the number eight bus to Eighth Street and Fifteenth Avenue. At Domino Park, he sat with Raúl and they played alone that first day, Máximo noticing his own speckled hands, the spots of light through the banyan leaves, a round red beetle that crawled slowly across the table, then hopped the next breeze and floated away.

 

~

Antonio and Carlos were not Cuban, but they knew when to dump their heavy pieces and when to hold back the eights for the final shocking stroke. Waiting for a table, Raúl and Máximo would linger beside them and watch them lay their traps, a succession of threes that broke their opponents, an incredible run of fives. Even the unthinkable: passing when they had the piece to play.
      Other twosomes began to refuse to play with the Dominicans, said that Carlos guy gave them the creeps with his giggling and monosyllables. Besides, any team that won so often must be cheating, went the charge, especially a team one-half imbecile. But really it was that no one plays to lose. You begin to lose again and again and it reminds you of other things in your life, the despair of it all begins to bleed through and that is not what games are for. Who wants to live their whole life alongside the lucky? But Máximo and Raúl liked these blessed Dominicans, appreciated the well-oiled moves of two old pros. And if the two Dominicans, afraid to be alone again, let them win now and then, who would know, who could ever admit to such a thing?
      For many months they didn't know much about each other, these four men. Even the smallest boy knew not to talk when the pieces were in play. But soon came Máximo's jokes during the shuffling, something new and bright coming into his eyes like daydreams as he spoke. Carlos's full loud laughter, like that of children. And the four men learned to linger long enough between sets to color an old memory while the white pieces scraped along the table.
      One day as they sat at their table, closest to the sidewalk, a pretty girl walked by. She swung her long brown hair around and looked in at the men with her green eyes.
      "What the hell is she looking at," said Antonio, who always sat with his back to the wall, looking out at the street. But the others saw how he stared back, too.
      Carlos let out a giggle and immediately put a hand to his mouth.
      "In Santo Domingo, a man once looked at--" but Carlos didn't get to finish.
      "Shut up you old idiot," said Antonio, putting his hands on the table like he was about to get up and leave.
      "Please," Máximo said.
      The girl stared another moment, then turned and left.
      Raúl rose slowly, flattening down his oiled hair with his right hand.
      "Ay, mi niña."
      "Sit down, hombre," Antonio said. "You're an old fool, just like this one."
      "You're the fool," Raúl called back. "A woman like that . . ."
      He watched the girl cross the street. When she was out of sight, he grabbed the back of the chair behind him and eased his body down, his eyes still on the street. The other three men looked at one another.
      "I knew a woman like that once," Raúl said, after a long moment.
      "That's right, he did," Antonio said, "in his moist boy dreams--what was it? A century ago?"
      "No me jodas," Raúl said. "You are a vulgar man. I had a life all three of you would have paid millions for. Women."
      Máximo watched him, then lowered his face, shuffled the dominoes.
      "I had women," Raúl said.
      "We all had women," Carlos said, and he looked like he was about to laugh again, but instead just sat there, smiling like he was remembering one of Máximo's jokes.
      "There was one I remember. More beautiful than the rising moon," Raúl said.
      "Oh Jesus," Antonio said. "You people."
      Máximo looked up, watching Raúl.
      "Ay, a woman like that," Raúl said and shook his head. "The women of Cuba were radiant, magnificent, wouldn't you say, professor?"
      Máximo looked away.
      "I don't know," Antonio said. "I think that Americana there looked better than anything you remember."
      And that brought a long laugh from Carlos.

~

Máximo sat all night at the pine table in his new efficiency, thinking about the green-eyed girl and wondering why he was thinking about her. The table and a narrow bed had come with the apartment, which he'd moved into after selling the house in Shenandoah. The table had come with two chairs, sturdy and polished--not in the least institutional--but he had put one of the chairs by the bed. The landlady, a woman in her forties, had helped Máximo haul up three potted palms. Later, he bought a green pot of marigolds that he saw in the supermarket and brought its butter leaves back to life under the window's eastern light. Máximo often sat at the table through the night, sometimes reading Martí, sometimes listening to the rain on the tin hull of the air conditioner.
      When you are older, he'd read somewhere, you don't need as much sleep. And wasn't that funny, because his days felt more like sleep than ever. Dinner kept him occupied for hours, remembering the story of each dish. Sometimes, at the table, he greeted old friends and awakened with a start when they reached out to touch him. When dawn rose and slunk into the room sideways through the blinds, Máximo walked as in a dream across the thin patterns of light on the terrazzo.
      The chair, why did he keep the other chair? Even the marigolds reminded him. An image returned again and again. Was it the green-eyed girl?
      And then he remembered that Rosa wore carnations in her hair and hated her name. And that it saddened him because he liked to roll it off his tongue like a slow train to the country.
      "Rosa," he said, taking her hand the night they met at the La Concha while an old danzón played.
      "Clavel," she said, tossing her head back in a crackling laugh. "Call me Clavel." She pulled her hand away and laughed again. "Don't you notice the flower in a girl's hair?"
      He led her around the dance floor lined with chaperones, and when they turned he whispered that he wanted to follow her laughter to the moon.
      She laughed again, the notes round and heavy as summer raindrops, and Máximo felt his fingers go cold where they touched hers. The danzón played, and they turned and turned, and the faces of the chaperones and the moist warm air--and Máximo with his cold fingers worried that she had laughed at him. He was twenty-four and could not imagine a more sorrowful thing in all the world.
      Sometimes, years later, he would catch a premonition of Rosa in the face of his eldest daughter. She would turn toward a window or do something with her eyes. And then she would smile and tilt her head back, and her laughter connected him again to that night, made him believe for a moment that life was a string you could gather up in your hands all at once.
      He sat at the table and tried to remember the last time he saw Marisa. In California now. An important lawyer. A year? Two? Anabel, gone to New York. Two years? They called more often than most children, Máximo knew. They called often and he was lucky that way.

 

~

"Fidel decides he needs to get in touch with young people."
      "Ay ay ay."
      "So his handlers arrange for him to go to a school in Havana. He gets all dressed up in his olive uniform, you know, puts conditioner on his beard and brushes it one hundred times, all that."
      Raúl breathed out, letting each breath come out like a puff of laughter. "Where do you get these things?"
      "No interrupting the artist anymore, okay?" Máximo continued. "So after he's beautiful enough, he goes to the school. He sits in on a few classes, walks around the halls. Finally, it's time for Fidel to leave and he realizes he hasn't talked to anyone. He rushes over to the assembly that is seeing him off with shouts of 'Comandante!' and he pulls a little boy out of a row. 'Tell me,' Fidel says, 'what is your name?' 'Pepito,' the little boy answers. 'Pepito, what a nice name,' Fidel says. 'And tell me, Pepito, what do you think of the Revolution?' 'Comandante,' Pepito says, 'the Revolution is the reason we are all here.' 'Ah, very good Pepito. And tell me, what is your favorite subject?' Pepito answers, 'Comandante, my favorite subject is mathematics.' Fidel pats the little boy on the head. 'And tell me, Pepito, what would you like to be when you grow up?' Pepito smiles and says, 'Comandante, I would like to be a tourist.'"
      Máximo looked around the table, a shadow of a smile on his thin white lips as he waited for the laughter.
      "Ay," Raúl said. "That's so funny it breaks my heart."

 

~

Máximo grew to like dominoes, the way each piece became part of the next. After the last piece was laid down and they were tallying up the score, Máximo liked to look over the table like an art critic. He liked the way the row of black dots snaked around the table with such free-flowing abandon it was almost as if, thrilled to be let out of the box, the pieces choreographed a fresh dance of gratitude every day. He liked the straightforward contrast of black on white. The clean, fresh scrape of the pieces across the table before each new round. The audacity of the double nines. The plain smooth face of the blank, like a newborn unetched by the world to come.
      "Professor," Raúl began, "let's speed up the shuffling a bit, sí?"
      "I was thinking," Máximo said.
      "Well, that shouldn't take long," Antonio said.
      "Who invented dominoes, anyway?" Máximo said.
      "I'd say it was probably the Chinese," Antonio said.
      "No jodas," Raúl said. "Who else could have invented this game of skill and intelligence but a Cuban."
      "Coño," said Antonio without a smile. "Here we go again."
      "Ah, bueno," Raúl said with a smile, stuck between joking and condescending. "You don't have to believe it if it hurts."
      Carlos let out a long laugh.
      "You people are unbelievable," said Antonio. But there was something hard and tired behind the way he smiled.

 

~

It was the first day of December, but summer still hung about in the brightest patches of sunlight. The four men sat under the shade of the banyan tree. It wasn't cold, not even in the shade, but three of the men wore cardigans. If asked, they would say they were expecting a chilly north wind and doesn't anybody listen to the weather forecasts anymore. Only Antonio, his round body enough to keep him warm, clung to the short sleeves of summer.
      Kids from the local Catholic high school had volunteered to decorate the park for Christmas, and they dashed about with tinsel in their hair, bumping one another and laughing loudly. Lucinda, the woman who issued the dominoes and kept back the gambling, asked them to quiet down, pointing at the men. A wind stirred the top branches of the banyan tree and moved on without touching the ground. One leaf fell to the table.
      Antonio waited for Máximo to fetch Lucinda's box of plastic pieces. Antonio held his brown paper bag to his chest and looked at the Cubans, his customary sourness replaced for a moment by what in a man like him could pass for levity. Máximo sat down and began to dump the plastic pieces on the table as he'd always done. But this time, Antonio held out his hand.
      "One moment," he said, and shook his brown paper bag.
      "Qué pasa, chico?" Máximo said.
      Antonio reached into the paper bag as the men watched. He let the paper fall away. In his hand he held an oblong black leather box.
      "Coñooo," Raúl said.
      He set the box on the table, like a magician drawing out his trick. He looked around to the men and finally opened the box with a flourish to reveal a neat row of big heavy pieces, gone yellow and smooth like old teeth. They bent in closer to look. Antonio tilted the box gently and the pieces fell out in one long line, their black dots facing up now like tight dark pupils in the sunlight.
      "Ivory," Antonio said, "and ebony. They're antique. You're not allowed to make them anymore."
      "Beautiful," Carlos said, and clasped his hands.
      "My daughter found them for me in New Orleans," Antonio continued, ignoring Carlos.
      He looked around the table and lingered on Máximo, who had lowered the box of plastic dominoes to the ground.
      "She said she's been searching for them for two years. Couldn't wait two more weeks to give them to me," he said.
      "Coñooo," Raúl said.
      A moment passed.
      "Well," Antonio said, "what do you think, Máximo?"
      Máximo looked at him. Then he bent across the table to touch one of the pieces.
      He gave a jerk with his head and listened for the traffic. "Very nice," he said.
      "Very nice?" Antonio said. "Very nice?" He laughed in his thin way. "My daughter walked all over New Orleans to find these and the Cuban thinks they're 'very nice?'" He paused, watching Máximo. "Did you know my daughter is coming to visit me for Christmas? She's coming for Christmas, Máximo, maybe you can tell her her gift was very nice, but not as nice as some you remember, eh?"
      Máximo looked up, his eyes settled on Carlos, who looked at Antonio and then looked away.
      "Calm down, hombre," Carlos said, opening his arms wide, a nervous giggle beginning in his throat. "What's gotten into you?"
      Antonio waved his hand.
      A diesel truck rattled down Eighth Street, headed for downtown.
      "My daughter is a district attorney in Los Angeles," Máximo said, after the noise of the truck died. "December is one of the busiest months."
      He felt a heat behind his eyes he had not felt in many years.
      "Hold one in your hand," Antonio said. "Feel how heavy that is."

 

~

When the children were small, Máximo and Rosa used to spend Nochebuena with his cousins in Cárdenas. It was a five-hour drive from Havana in the cars of those days. They would rise early on the twenty-third and arrive by mid-afternoon so Máximo could help the men kill the pig for the feast the following night. Máximo and the other men held the squealing, squirming animal down, its wiry brown coat cutting into their gloveless hands. But god, they were intelligent creatures. No sooner did it spot the knife, than the animal would bolt out of their arms, screaming like Armageddon. It had become the subtext to the Nochebuena tradition, this chasing of the terrified pig through the yard, dodging orange trees and the rotting fruit underneath. The children were never allowed to watch, Rosa made sure. They sat indoors with the women and stirred the black beans. With loud laughter, they shut out the shouts of the men and the hysterical pleadings of the animal as it was dragged back to its slaughter.

~

"Juanito the little dog gets off the boat from Cuba and decides to take a stroll down Brickell Avenue."
      "Let me make sure I understand the joke. Juanito is a dog. Bowwow."
      "That's pretty good."
      "Yes, Juanito is a dog, goddamnit."
      Raúl looked up, startled.
      Máximo shuffled the pieces hard and swallowed. He swung his arms across the table in wide, violent arcs. One of the pieces flew off the table.
      "Hey, hey, watch it with that, what's wrong with you?"
      Máximo stopped. He felt his heart beating.
      "I'm sorry," he said. He bent over the edge of the table to see where the piece had landed. "Wait a minute."
      He held the table with one hand and tried to stretch to pick up the piece.
      "What are you doing?"
      "Just wait a minute." When he couldn't reach, he stood up, pulled the piece toward him with his foot, sat back down and reached for it again, this time grasping it between his fingers and his palm. He put it face down on the table with the others and shuffled, slowly, his mind barely registering the traffic.
      "Where was I--Juanito the little dog, right, bowwow." Máximo took a deep breath. "He's just off the boat from Cuba and is strolling down Brickell Avenue. He's looking up at all the tall and shiny buildings. 'Coñooo,' he says, dazzled by all the mirrors. 'There's nothing like this in Cuba.'"
      "Hey, hey, professor. We had tall buildings."
      "Jesus Christ!" Máximo said. He pressed his thumb and forefinger into the corners of his eyes. "This is after Castro, then. Let me just get it out for Christ's sake."
      He stopped shuffling. Raúl looked away.
      "Ready now? Juanito the little dog is looking up at all the tall buildings and he's so happy to finally be in America because all his cousins have been telling him what a great country it is, right? You know, they were sending back photos of their new cars and girlfriends."
      "A joke about dogs who drive cars, I've heard it all."
      "Hey, they're Cuban superdogs."
      "All right, they're sending back photos of their new owners or the biggest bones any dog has ever seen. Anything you like. Use your imaginations." Máximo stopped shuffling. "Where was I?"
      "You were at the part where Juanito buys a Rolls Royce."
      The men laughed.
      "Okay, Antonio, why don't you three fools continue the joke." Máximo got up from the table. "You've made me forget the rest of it."
      "Aw, come on, chico, sit down, don't be so sensitive."
      "Come on, professor, you were at the part where Juanito is so glad to be in America."
      "Forget it. I can't remember the rest now." Máximo rubbed his temple, grabbed the back of the chair and sat down slowly, facing the street. "Just leave me alone, I can't remember it." He pulled at the pieces two by two. "I'm sorry. Look, let's just play."
      The men set up their double rows of dominoes, like miniature barricades before them.
      "These pieces are a work of art," Antonio said, and lay down a double eight.

 

~

The banyan tree was strung with white lights that were lit all day. Colored lights twined around the metal poles of the fence, which was topped with a long looping piece of gold tinsel garland.
      The Christmas tourists began arriving just before lunch as Máximo and Raúl stepped off the number eight bus. Carlos and Antonio were already at the table, watched by two groups of families. Mom and Dad with kids. They were big, even the kids were big and pink. The mother whispered to the kids and they smiled and waved. Raúl waved back at the mother.
      "Nice legs, yes?" he whispered to Máximo.
      Before Máximo looked away, he saw the mother take out one of those little black pocket cameras. He saw the flash out of the corner of his eye. He sat down and looked around the table; the other men stared at their pieces.
      The game started badly. It happened sometimes, the distribution of the pieces went all wrong and out of desperation one of the men made mistakes, and soon it was all they could do to knock all the pieces over and start fresh. Raúl set down a double three and signaled to Máximo it was all he had. Carlos passed. Máximo surveyed his last five pieces. His thoughts scattered to the family outside. He looked up to find the tallest boy with his face pressed between the iron slats, staring at him.
      "You pass?" Antonio said.
      Máximo looked at him, then at the table. He put down a three and a five. He looked again, the boy was gone. The family had moved on.
      The tour groups arrived later that afternoon. First the white buses with the happy blue letters WELCOME TO LITTLE HAVANA. Next, the fat women in white shorts, their knees lost in an abstraction of flesh. Máximo tried to concentrate on the game. The worst part was how the other men acted out for them. Dominoes is supposed to be a quiet game. And now there they were shouting at each other and gesturing. A few of the men had even brought cigars, and they dangled now, unlit, from their mouths.
      "You see, Raúl," Máximo said. "You see how we're a spectacle?" He felt like an animal and wanted to growl and cast about behind the metal fence.
      Raúl shrugged. "Doesn't bother me."
      "A goddamn spectacle. A collection of old bones," Máximo said.
      The other men looked up at Máximo.
      "Hey speak for yourself, cabrón," Antonio said.
      Raúl shrugged again.
      Máximo rubbed his left elbow and began to shuffle. It was hot, and the sun was setting in his eyes, backlighting the car exhaust like a veil before him. He rubbed his temple, feeling the skin move over the bone. He pressed the inside corners of his eyes, then drew his hand back to his left elbow.
      "Hey, you okay there?" Antonio said.
      An open trolley pulled up and parked at the curb. A young man, perhaps in his thirties, stood in the front, holding a microphone. He wore a guayabera. Máximo looked away.
      "This here is Domino Park," came the amplified voice in English, then in Spanish. "No one under fifty-five allowed, folks. But we can sure watch them play."
      Máximo heard shutters click, then convinced himself he couldn't have heard, not from where he was.
      "Most of these men are Cuban and they're keeping alive the tradition of their homeland," the amplified voice continued, echoing against the back wall of the park. "You see, in Cuba it was very common to retire to a game of dominoes after a good meal. It was a way to bond and build community. You folks here are seeing a slice of the past. A simpler time of good friendships and unhurried days."
      Maybe it was the sun. The men later noted that he seemed odd. The tics. Rubbing his bones.
      First Máximo muttered to himself. He rubbed his temple again. When the feedback on the microphone pierced through Domino Park, he could no longer sit where he was, accept things as they were. It was a moment that had long been missing from his life.
      He stood and made a fist at the trolley.
      "Mierda!" he shouted. "Mierda! That's the biggest bullshit I've ever heard."
      He made a lunge at the fence. Carlos jumped up and held him back. Raúl led him back to his seat.
      The man of the amplified voice cleared his throat. The people on the trolley looked at him and back at Máximo, perhaps they thought this was part of the show.
      "Well," the man chuckled. "There you have it, folks."
      Lucinda ran over, but the other men waved her off. She began to protest about rules and propriety. The park had a reputation to uphold.
      It was Antonio who spoke. "Leave the man alone," he said.
      Máximo looked at him. His head was pounding. Antonio met his gaze briefly then looked to Lucinda.
      "Some men don't like to be stared at is all," he said. "It won't happen again."
      She shifted her weight, but remained where she was, watching.
      "What are you waiting for?" Antonio said, turning now to Máximo, who had lowered his head onto the white backs of the dominoes. "Shuffle."

 

~

That night Máximo was too tired to sit at the pine table. He didn't even prepare dinner. He slept, and in his dreams he was a blue-and-yellow fish swimming in warm waters, gliding through the coral, the only fish in the sea and he was happy. But the light changed and the sea darkened suddenly and he was rising through it, afraid of breaking the surface, afraid of the pinhole sun on the other side, afraid of drowning in the blue vault of sky.

 

~

"Let me finish the story of Juanito the little dog."
      No one said anything.
      "Is that okay? I'm okay. I just remembered it. Can I finish it?"
      The men nodded, but still did not speak.
      "He is just off the boat from Cuba. He is walking down Brickell Avenue. And he is trying to steady himself, see, because he still has his sea legs and all the buildings are so tall they are making him dizzy. He doesn't know what to expect. He's maybe a little afraid. And he's thinking about a pretty little dog he once knew and he's wondering where she is now and he wishes he were back home."
      He paused to take a breath. Raúl cleared his throat. The men looked at one another, then at Máximo. But his eyes were on the blur of dominoes before him. He felt a stillness around him, a shadow move past the fence, but he didn't look up.
      "He's not a depressed kind of dog, though. Don't get me wrong. He's very feisty. And when he sees an elegant white poodle striding toward him, he forgets all his worries and exclaims, 'O Madre de Dios, si cocinas como caminas . . .'"
      The men let out a small laugh. Máximo continued.
      "'Si cocinas como caminas . . .' Juanito says, but the white poodle interrupts and says, 'I beg your pardon? This is America, speak English.' So Juanito pauses for a moment to consider and says in his broken English, 'Mamita, you are one hot doggie, yes? I would like to take you to movies and fancy dinners.'"
      "One hot doggie, yes?" Carlos repeated, then laughed. "You're killing me."
      The other men smiled, warming to the story again.
      "So Juanito says, 'I would like to marry you, my love, and have gorgeous puppies with you and live in a castle.' Well, all this time the white poodle has her snout in the air. She looks at Juanito and says, 'Do you have any idea who you're talking to? I am a refined breed of considerable class and you are nothing but a short, insignificant, mutt.' Juanito is stunned for a moment, but he rallies for the final shot. He's a proud dog, you see, and he's afraid of his pain. 'Pardon me, your highness,' Juanito the mangy dog says, 'Here in America, I may be a short, insignificant mutt, but in Cuba I was a German shepherd.'"
      Máximo turned so the men would not see his tears. The afternoon traffic crawled westward. One horn blasted, then another. He remembered holding his daughters days after their birth, thinking how fragile and vulnerable lay his bond to the future. For weeks, he carried them on pillows, like jeweled china. Then, the blank spaces in his life lay before him. Now he stood with the gulf at his back, their ribbony youth aflutter in the past. And what had he salvaged from the years? Already, he was forgetting Rosa's face, the precise shade of her eyes.
      Carlos cleared his throat and moved his hand as if to touch him, then held back. He cleared his throat again.
      "He was a good dog," Carlos said, pursing his lips.
      Antonio began to laugh, then fell silent with the rest. Máximo started shuffling, then stopped. The shadow of the banyan tree worked a kaleidoscope over the dominoes. When the wind eased, Máximo tilted his head to listen. He heard something stir behind him, someone leaning heavily on the fence. He could almost feel their breath. His heart quickened.
      "Tell them to go away," Máximo said. "Tell them, no pictures."

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