Gift Wrap

  Louise's fingernails kept getting in her way. She'd just had them fiber glassed and painted blue at the salon upstairs in the store. Joey, her first lover since Burt walked out, said he was taking her somewhere special for a change, like to the new Outback that just got built on the highway. He wanted to see the Bloomin' Onion for himself, Joey said. Joey. He was so quiet, so mysterious, so romantic. Since she met Joey, Louise had been desperately reading magazine articles on how to become exciting to your man, how to change your image into the real you.

  The real Louise never thought she'd get any husband in the first place. When Burt asked, after she'd been out of high school for five full years and had gone to so many weddings that she thought she would burn with shame, always without a date, she said yes, yes. What if she caused a scene at the next wedding? She could picture herself shouting next time, Hey! How come it's never me? Which is what went through her mind while shaking hands in the last reception line. What if she never got another chance, she thought. What if her fears and series of bad roommates turned out to be her life? Who was she to say no to Burt?

  Burt used to come over for supper about four times a week, after her neighbor downstairs introduced them. Tall, skinny Burt looked like he needed feeding. She liked to watch him eat. She liked having a man in the apartment. Even if there wasn't much conversation. Even if he smelled sharp and rank from the chemicals at the factory.

  Then Burt said they might as well get married what with all the time they were spending together. Before two months of marriage, Burt began reminding her she was leftovers. All the time he would say, You're a mouse, you know that, Louise? You'd take anything from me wouldn't ya? You'd kiss my butt in public if I told ya to, wouldn't you, Louise? Wouldn't you? And she did. Right up until the day he got into his new truck, and waved good-bye. He made a big noise. He yelled, Hey! Louise! Look at what else I got. He waved the tin box full of her savings she'd thought was safely hidden behind the tampon carton in the linen closet.

  Louise moved five towns over, trying to avoid running into anyone who might have heard. I'm a lump, she kept thinking. A stumpy, lumpy jerk, and I'm going to die alone. Still, she had to do something, so she took this job at R. H. Rogers Department store wrapping packages for people who could afford to buy presents.

  The wrapping department was where she met Joey four months ago. Just one day after Evelyn, her boss . . . her boss with the frosted hair tips . . . had taken her in hand. It involved a short trip upstairs to the Dye for You Salon where Louise got herself made over into a Rogers' girl. Just one day, and like magic. Joey. Short. Exactly her height and strong enough to open any jar.

  He came in with a quilted bathrobe for his mother. He kept staring at Louise. Two days later he wanted a pocket wrench wrapped. Said it was for his father. Finally, after a week of strange wrapping requests like a three pack of white tee-shirts, an iron door-stop, he asked her out. If she wasn't busy or had plans already, which was most likely, he said. He had liquid brown eyes and one long eyebrow that arched up with hope, when he asked her.

  Louise couldn't believe her luck. Someone thought she was date material. Joey appeared nervous, shy, and didn't make one fast move the first three dates. Sausage and pasta at Stephenelli's the next town over. Chianti until she was weak, but with no moves. A gentleman. Turns out they both wanted a big dog someday. They both wanted to see all fifty states.

  The fourth date changed everything. Came in to her place, stayed over, and now she was restless and eager to see his sweet face. Louise learned about passion. She counted time from one meeting to the next. She counted time between kisses. She counted time between the sounds that he pulled out of her.

  With four more hours stretching on her shift, Louise was starting to go slightly nuts. She couldn't get the ribbon on the paper twisted tightly enough to look professional without breaking one of her new nails. Evelyn was always after them for 'perky looking packages'. Evelyn always said that people who paid to have their packages wrapped were in a hurry but they wanted a lift out of their efforts and it was our job to make the box look inviting and perky. Perky, perky, perky.

  The middle finger on her left hand was the one Louise needed to bear down on the knob of the ribbon. Louise could feel the fake nail wobbling. She swore into the fluff of tissue paper and Evelyn heard her. As Louise looked up, she saw Evelyn glare over from beside the five-foot tall Gundi giraffe she was nesting into the store's biggest box. Evelyn prided herself on her ability to take care of the hard to wrap projects.

  Maybe if she hurried and no one else showed up, Louise could sneak back up to the salon for a quick trim. Her hair was thin and lank. Joey said he liked long hair, so she was trying. Bad hair, her mother had always said. You look washed out, Burt always had noted.

  But Joey never said a mean word to her. He complimented her all the time. God! She couldn't wait until tonight. She had the feeling that tonight he might suggest something about moving in for good. He'd been staying over about two nights a week. He was always whispering around her apartment. In bed, when he was most excited, he would make this quiet yip that melted Louise. Joey was perfect, especially compared to Burt.

  Although she'd never seen Joey's actual place of residence, she thought it was sweet that he never wanted to bring her there. He said it wasn't good enough for her, a crummy place he'd moved into after his divorce, no phone even.

  "Excuse me? Excuse me? Miss?" Louise felt the sharp point of the voice, like someone put a toothpick in her ear. It sounded like that awful Rhonda who called looking for Joey twice last week. How had she gotten the number? Joey always shrugged and said his ex-wife found out everything. But Louise shouldn't let this get to her. She should ignore it. Just say 'no Joey here' and hang up, he warned her. She had this temper, Rhonda did. You didn't want to cross her, Joey would insist, but really, no problem, no problem.

  "EXCUSE ME!" Everybody sounded like Voice-on-the-Phone-Rhonda to her lately. Louise kept her head down, and mumbled, "Be with you in a minute, ma'am." Louise chose a blue 3-D car trailing teensy balloons to go with the silver wrapping, forgetting this was a wedding present not a teenager's graduation gift.

  Evelyn swooped over. "Not the Miatas with the Pfatlzgraff, you silly! Use the rosettes, the pink and mauve ones. Those are the bride's colors!" Louise carefully undid the car and poked through the silk roses. When would she get to choose her colors for her wedding? She and Burt had just said a few words in front of a judge during their lunch hour one Friday. Some mornings back then Louise forgot she was married. Burt's stuff in the laundry would startle her. These days she felt brand new.

  "Miss! OH, MISS!" It sounded so much like that Rhonda, she could spit. But she kept picking out more and more silk roses to add. Louise had never seen a picture, even, and tried to imagine what Joey's ex looked like. Big hair she figured. Tacky jeans, leather and fringe, with high heels and gold chains. Just like Frederick's of Hollywood.

  Louise wished she could get away with wearing that stuff, but Joey said he liked her style, as if she had one. Being a RH Rogers' girl meant neat. With a scarf. After the first week, Louise couldn't remember how the cosmetics girl had applied all the things she'd wound up buying after her makeover.

  Done. Louise turned around and gave the silver and pink package to the fifty-year old aunt who had been yakking to her friend about how no one really used their good china any more. Louise thought she saw Joey at the edge of the doorway but the man quickly withdrew. It was three hours too early for him, anyway.

  "Miss! Can you help ME now, or what?"

  "What!" Louise said then checked to see if Evelyn had heard the un-R.H. Rogers-like voice she'd used. "Excuse me. What can I do for you? Have you a purchase you'd like me to wrap?"

  "Are you Louise?" Louise checked to see if she was wearing her name tag. She hated it when strangers called her by her first name -- men especially would act like they had something over you. Evelyn usually checked for their tags. This morning was no different.

  "Yes. I'm Louise. How may I help you?"

  "I'm Rhonda. Joey's wife," she hissed. "I just wanted to see what you looked like, you tramp."

  Evelyn's head peered over the giraffe. She said often enough that she preferred things quiet and efficient. Personal problems were never to be discussed at work, but this could be An Interesting Situation! Evelyn looked to be in super alert mode. Evelyn loved to call security. "If there is ever a problem, Louise, a situation you can't handle," she often said, "and I'm not here, call security."

  The sneering woman had her arms folded in front of her, a huge straw bag hung from her shoulder. She looked about 40 or 45 and did have big hair. She wore a light purple jogging outfit, the kind old women wear to be comfortable on a plane, the kind that wooshed and rustled. Noisy clothes.

  Louise started to lose blood pressure as Rhonda began hissing. "I hate to rain on your little parade here, but I just thought you might want to know that there's no divorce. You don't want to wreck a marriage, now, do you?"

  "Married? Not divorced?"

  "I'm saying." Swish, swoosh, whisper, shuss. Rhonda leaned in and breathed hot air with a touch of Juicy Fruit. The squawking fuss she made to get Louise's attention was gone.

  Now she cooed, "Confidentially, you know, I just like getting him back. Knowing I can. No offense, but he likes being married. You know what I mean?"

  "Not really . . . I . . . I wanted . . . I," Louise pulled absently at the ribbon between her fingers, braiding it, undoing it.

  "Personally, I can't stand being penned up for long. Joey's a good egg and all, but about five times now I've picked a fight and kicked him out. Get to live it up for a few months, have myself some real fun. But there's nothing much like having a guy of Joey's type around when the bills come due. He takes vows so serious. Sorry. Nothing personal, but it's that time. Got to go into my act now."

  Louise began to feel mysteriously lightheaded.

  Rhonda's voice rose as though she was flapping under a canopy in a rain forest. "So, give it up, girl. I love him forever." She glanced behind her to the doorway, and lifted her voice even more. "That's a big bye-bye for you."

  Louise took deep breaths, determined to face her fate upright.

  "And he sent me here to tell you he's not showing up tonight or any other night. Got it? We're going to the Poconos this weekend and get it all back together." She grinned at Louise, her face a kind of mask with lip liner flaking in the corners of her mouth.

  Louise leaned forward onto the counter to hold herself up.

  Rhonda looked pleased to see Louise's face turn white. "He always does this, hooks up with some loser when I get mad and throw him out. You aren't the first."

  Louise's middle finger started to throb. She looked down past her wrist to the work area and saw the blood start from her hand, then trickle down the counter. She was leaning on the ribbon razor and had sliced both her nail and a tiny tip of her finger off. "Security," Louise whispered.

  When Evelyn looked at the mess in front of her, she jumped back, causing the giraffe to fall out of the box onto the floor beside the bleeding Louise, who lay in a heap of used wrappers, half conscious, colorless.

  Rhonda nodded over her. "Right where you belong, with the rest of the trash." She turned, snapped her fingers impatiently at a man who was lurking outside the wrapping department doorway. "Let's get out of here, Joey. I won't kick you out any more. You're not gonna try and hurt Rhonda anymore. I took care of everything."

  Evelyn rolled out an office chair and hoisted Louise onto it as her eyes opened. While Louise squinted, trying to make sense of what happened, she saw Rhonda lead Joey away, grabbing his hand as if he were in kindergarten. He looked back at Louise; he just couldn't seem to break loose. Why is it a woman like that had someone?

  She saw Joey's sad face, watching her, but he allowed himself to be dragged past men's wear, through cosmetics, down the escalator and out into the dusky, darkening sky she could only glimpse through a narrow window.

  Leftovers. Markdowns. Clearance Sale. Evelyn rolled Louise across the third floor, past the bridal department, intimate wear, and baby clothes to the employee's lounge.

  "I'm okay, Evelyn. Really. Please. It's bad enough without you wheeling me. I'm already a jerk; I don't want to get fired, too." Louise looked up at Evelyn, but all she could notice at this angle were the tunnels of her supervisor's nostrils.

  "As your boss, I'm not supposed to get involved. But woman to woman, let me tell you, you're better off. I know packaging and let me tell you. Those two were no prizes. I'm going to fix you up." Evelyn stopped the rolling chair for a moment and thudded Louise a couple of times on the shoulders with both hands. Evelyn wasn't used to giving comfort instead of directions.

  A bit heavy handed, Louise thought, yet it felt good. She'd still have a job. "Whatever you say, I guess." Then, "You think he'll ever come back?"

  "I certainly hope not. You can do better."

  "Joey was better. I'd be better for Joey than her."

  "I know, I know." She began rolling Louise forward. "All I can do is take care of your outsides. Give you a little pick me up."

  "But it won't make a difference."

  "Sure, it will. Trust me. Get you all perky and happy again. Maybe he will come back. Maybe he'll realize something. It happens. But first we have to stop the bleeding."

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